Don't waste time with a fancy watch.

Respect dress codes. You'll have more liberty to be funny.

Live in New York City.

Be a vigorous dancer.

When speaking with journalists, choose your words carefully.

"I knew what kind of man I wanted my son to be—industrious, charming and well-dressed," says Walker Lamond, a 33-year-old writer who started a list of ground rules for his future child before the mayhem of fatherhood made him too soft or too sanctimonious. The list soon grew into the blog 1,001 Rules For My Unborn Son, which also became his own instruction book on how to be a good man. "Sometimes you need reminding and it helps to make a list," he says. "Wait, that should be a rule." Each day he adds a few rules or a song he dubs "required listening." So what will Lamond do when he hits that fateful 1,001? "Hmm, probably have a daughter."