They're not all winners, but Reddit's constantly updated list has some gems now and then. Here are a few recent favorites.

• Having a cat is a lot like having a college roommate. Most of the time you each do your own thing, but occasionally you hang out. Also, they sometimes try to eat your food and throw up in your laundry.
• For the first eight minutes of your life, the sunlight around you is older than you are.
• Being an adult is like carrying a huge ball of laundry, you think you've got everything under control until you look back and see all of your socks scattered across the floor.
• Volleyball is just a really intense version of "don't let the balloon touch the floor."
• Sleep is the body's best safety mechanism. It keeps you from screwing things up for eight hours.