They're not all winners, but Reddit's constantly updated list has some gems now and then. Here are a few recent favorites.

• I never truly doubt myself more than when I'm trying to determine the appropriate portion of spaghetti to cook.
• "Dry clean only" should really say "wear with caution and hang back up promptly after each use".
• I'd get as much use out of a "lowest before muting" button as I would the mute button.
• Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
• When we think something smells good, we say "that smells good," but when we say something smells bad, we simply say "that smells."