The Morning Report
March 2, 2017
Edited by Ronald Miller of Valet.
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- A really underrated accomplishment is that toilets don't require power to flush.
- Monopoly would be a lot more realistic if everyone started out with wildly different amounts of money.
- If you're having trouble falling asleep, the moment you realize it is the moment you're screwed.
- Between 251 and 265 million light years away exists a view of earth with dinosaurs on it.
- If you took a person from the year 1817 and brought them forward to 1917, then it would probably take them a few months to adjust. If you took a person from 1917 and brought them forward to 2017, then their head would probably explode.
- There are only two types of Taco Bell employees: The ones that give you two packets of sauce and the ones that give you 20. There is no in between.