They're not all winners, but Reddit's constantly updated list has some gems now and then. Here are a few recent favorites.

• Sitting on a park bench: If I read a book, people think I'm an intellectual. If I read the same book on my phone, I'm a millennial tech junkie.
• Wanna open a snack as loudly as you can? Do it as quietly as possible ...
• Slang is just slang for short language.
• You can't be more than half the world away from someone on Earth.
• With all the wifi and cell data zipping around, I wonder how many minutes of porn I walk through a day.