They're not all winners, but Reddit's constantly updated list has some gems now and then. Here are a few recent favorites.

• If the Bloodhound Gang song about "doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel" were written today, they would be singing about having sex on a crab fishing boat, or with gold miners, or while flipping cars in Texas.
• If you like to drink, you know when the liquor store closes. If you are an alcoholic, you know when it opens.
• Not many things say "this is someone else's problem now" more than a leaf blower does.
• No matter what kind of calculator I am using, I am going to hit "clear" multiple times.
• The most unrealistic thing about Toy Story was the fact that the claw machine had the strength to pick up two toys.