The Morning Report
June 29, 2017
Edited by Ronald Miller of Valet.
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- If the Bloodhound Gang song about "doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel" were written today, they would be singing about having sex on a crab fishing boat, or with gold miners, or while flipping cars in Texas.
- If you like to drink, you know when the liquor store closes. If you are an alcoholic, you know when it opens.
- Not many things say "this is someone else's problem now" more than a leaf blower does.
- No matter what kind of calculator I am using, I am going to hit "clear" multiple times.
- The most unrealistic thing about Toy Story was the fact that the claw machine had the strength to pick up two toys.