The Morning Report
October 11, 2018
Edited by Ronald Miller of Valet.
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- One of the most frustrating feelings in the world is being smart enough to know there's a better way to do something but not smart enough to invent a way to do it.
- Deciding to become a parent is like choosing to take care of a drunk person for 13 years straight, and a hungover person for the next 5. Then paying for their rehab for the next 4.
- Poor 13. It just missed the clock, times tables, the dozen, the apostles, the calendar (months) and is considered the unluckiest number. It can't get a break.
- Teachers will be quick to say that a classroom isn't a place to sleep, but by that logic a house isn't a place to study.
- The most depressing part about setting an alarm for work is the read-out "5.5 hours until alarm."