They're not all winners, but Reddit's constantly updated list has some real gems now and then
⋆ Replying “k” in morse “-.-”, has the same passive aggressive tone.
⋆ After a three day break, you feel well rested. But a five day break? You forget how to be a productive member of society.
⋆ Rockstar has really proven with their popular games “GTA V” and “Red Dead Redemption 2” that we have never really outgrown playing cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians.
⋆ They say with pessimism you'll either be correct or pleasantly surprised, but that's an awfully optimistic way to see pessimism.
⋆ FedEx can get a can of corn from Nebraska to California faster than the human body can get it from one end to the other.
⋆ The more loyalty cards you have, the less loyal you actually are.