They're not all winners, but Reddit's constantly updated list has some real gems now and then
⋆ Nuclear war is like bringing a hand grenade to a knife fight, on an elevator.
⋆ Everyone's talking about “Baby It's Cold Outside” being offensive when “Santa Baby” is basically about a girl whoring herself out to Santa for expensive gifts.
⋆ Clocks are just a metronome ticking at 60bpm.
⋆ If fossil fuels will eventually cause human extinction, but some birds survive, then dinosaurs will have evolutionarily outwitted us with the longest shot imaginable.
⋆ Just realized today that Jaden and Willow Smith are named after their parents ... just the opposite genders.
⋆ It feels harder to wake up at 5 am than it does to stay up to 5 am.