They're not all winners, but Reddit's constantly updated list has some real gems now and then
⋆ Procrastination teaches you to finish an eight hour job in 30 minutes and also to finish a 30 minute job in eight hours.
⋆ We under appreciate our tongue's ability to easily detect hair.
⋆ Growing up, we were led to believe that cats and dogs are mortal enemies. In reality, the real rivalry is just between cat people and dog people.
⋆ There are over 7,500 different types of apples, but only one “apple juice.”
⋆ People get mad at alarm clocks when they work and when they don't.